David Robert Youngman
Single White Heterosexual Male
Senior Staff Scientist

Area 51 Alien Receiving Laboratory
Las Vegas, Nevada 89A51
Document Last Modified On: 05/31/08

Little David Youngman was found starving on the banks of the Ohio River in late December 1952 where he was being raised by wolves. After being rescued by a kind Anglo-Saxon family with a Jewish-sounding last name, he was restored to health by being fed a steady diet of Spam® on Wonder Bread® smothered with Cheez Whiz®. This nourishing sustenance was washed down by liberal quanities of Dr. Pepper®, Ovaltine®, and Jack Daniels®.

For the most part, Dave had a relatively normal childhood. He spent his time doing what most kids do: torturing his siblings, torturing the family pet, driving his mother and father crazy, and killing snakes.

During puberty, biology took hold. Large quantities of the hormone testosterone coursed through his veins. Some veins more than others: and this caused physical changes, personality changes, and more than one problem.

Note:  This is a work in progress. To be continued...

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